Losing Weight When You Have Boobs…

Losing weight for girls, in general, is a struggle, it’s scientifically proven that it is harder for women to lose weight than men.

Since I’ve been working out more regularly the past few weeks I can really feel my body getting into shape slowly. I felt so good this morning when I didn’t have to wrestle my way into my tight jeans, meaning I didn’t have to do jumping jacks, the wiggle dance, and break all the rules of science to make it in.

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I was like YASSS!

Momma is winning.

Then I put on my bra and half my boob is over-flowing out all edges.

Nevermind. Momma’s staying a fat cow forover.

It is so frustrating that when I gain weight my boobs grow but when I lose weight they don’t shrink. I know this isn’t the case for all girls but it’s so annoying that this happens to me, because you know…

I’m a SPECIAL kind of special…

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I know guys are like “oh yea we don’t mind”


Do you know how hard it is to find clothes that fit my body type? I don’t want to sound racist (but no fucks given bitches) these clothing brands make clothes for flat white girls with no curves. This is why even when I dress modestly, I look like a slutty pumpkin because these clothes are made for girls with no boobs, thus mine are overflowing over the top because they have no place to go.

YES. I have cleavage and NO I don’t need a push-up bra to show it off. I need a bra that will hold it all in and not have a melon sized boob hit me in the face while I’m running down the hall to catch the elevator.

I hate that when I say “curvy” this is what comes to mind for people. Like, WTF? Who dafuq looks like this while working out? Seriously?

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I have a gut, I got rolls and flabtastic arms that I can’t for the life of me reduce. (I blame genetics)

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Human girls don’t look like that working out, we look like sweaty, hot blobs with splotchy skin trying to discreetly wipe the sweat from between the boobs so that men ogling you don’t think you’re trying to turn them on.

Or that you’re a crazy person.

I really don’t understand men that hit on me at the gym, like bro. I only came here to use your pretty abs as motivation to keep running on that treadmill, I really don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want your number, I just want to feel good about myself and stay healthy.

I love that I have more energy and I’m losing weight, but I hate that my body will once again be irregular shaped because boobs…

Why didn’t I just stay a pumpkin… why?


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